Sunday, July 6, 2014

I woke up this morning with knots in my stomach. Instantly. Today, I feel it even more. It's so noticeable now, that I could nearly reach out to touch it; it's there. It's not my imagination anymore. God is tugging on my heart so much for another country; a country that I am not even sure of where right now. But I know, that somewhere, there are thousands of children that need hugs and love and food and to be told that Jesus loves them. Everywhere I look in my home, I see multiples of things; I see food; I see running water and as much of it as I want; I see cars and electricity ... I see shoes and clothes. Things I've never lived without. Things that are so common to me, I can't imagine not having them. Things that some children dream of. And here I have it and so much of it... And it makes my insides hurt; it makes me ache. Why was I so blessed with all of these things when other children, so deserving, have so little, and some, nothing at all.
When I see videos and pictures of other peoples' journeys to third-world countries, these sweet innocent children with not even half as much as I have, are the happiest children. Full of smiles and thanks to God for everything they do have.
It breaks my heart thinking back on my childhood; I was always concerned with wanting more... and what I wanted for Christmas. 
These children may have never even had a pair of shoes, and they are full of so much joy! I know, that had I been given a pair of shoes one Christmas, I would have questioned where my other gifts were ... And that just is not right. 
These material things we claim to love, is so worthless compared to loving Christ. 
 I am, do not hear me wrong, so thankful to have been so blessed with everything God has provided me with, and I only pray and hope I can give back to another child who is crying somewhere because they are cold, or hungry, or without a family to love them. 
God does not give us these desires for no reason at all - I know that He has a purpose for placing this on my heart, and so much, these past few weeks. 
Even if I lost everything today, I have Christ ...  I have everything I could ever need. 
I do not think I could have said that in the beginning of this year, nor a few short months ago. Even two months ago, or one. 
But I know, after having crying out for God to give me the desires of my heart (not my own will, not my personal desires for my heart, nothing in my own will; but what GOD made my heart FOR, what my HEART longs to do in His name, what His will for my life is) and I realize now ... It is to spread His light to others. Wherever that may be. I know that God is still writing my life ... And this life is not even my own; it is for the glory of God. With that, I am more than delighted to jump at His call in His perfect timing. 
He makes all things GOOD, and does all things GOOD.
Although I fail so often and fall so short with loving Him as I ought, I pray to love Him with a willing heart and with a willing mind. 

It is in Christ and Christ alone: I am forgiven. You are forgiven. 

Psalm 37:4 – Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

In His Love,

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